Away from Home : Confession of a Lonely Hour

   The blaring rumble of a nearby generator went on . . . . .so did the sonorous movement of cutleries .And surrounded by every possible inanimate objects, I sat in pin drop silence with not a single soul to talk to. True, the house where I was waited was inhabited then.But what good was that to me? With the servants keyed up to get the most of their master's absence , and the boys locked in their rooms, who would I share my loneliness with? The inexplicable awkwardness of the dilemma I was in was beyond endurance! Neither could I stay a second longer to confront this deadly isolation nor could I rush to my world of comfort. They simply wouldn't let me in!

  It was almost 5:50 pm then. I had been waiting in solitude for the past ,unending 50 minutes. Who knew how longer would it be till I could peacefully part my ways with this cancerous solitude? The maid servant gave me a short visit 10 minutes ago, apparently to exchange pleasantries . Outside a sinister darkness was peeping through the lacy curtains, standing guard at the windows. I knew ,at home, everyone was basking in their familiar warmth , too busy in their works to even think of me. I couldn't help but open the floodgate ,in my heart, to abhorrence, fury and frustration!

  Finally I've understood why people never mind being called "workaholics". Why should they? Work ,after all, DEFINES the essence of life and is a thousand times better than unending hours of futile waiting, with nothing to do. Oh , how I wished I could call up Mom and cry to her ears my miseries! But the indulgent whim of fate kept me from being a child again; I knew time had changed and so did Mom. How could I be naive enough to forget I have "grown up" , to the world, to an age when Mom didn't worry about me anymore?

   It was everyone else's time for selfishly tending to their own needs; but my time for waiting. But what was I to wait for?  To return empty-handed? And to pick up the shattered pieces of dying hope that'd be left in the end? Or just void? Two drops of anguish rolled down while I scribbled away with the pen, but I didn't stop to wipe them. I didn't let loose my restraint on emotions . . . . for I knew, those were premonitions of pain but I had no panacea to that!

  I did not know know how longer this ordeal would last. Every bit of me was seething in fury! Was the phone call a disguised "mockery" ? All these years of living together under the same roof, yet today, they asked if I felt insecure at a completely strange place! Like that isn't normal?? Ah, what a great humor the  so-called 'reality' has! 

  Twenty minutes left for the minute hand to strike 6. No one on  the Earth could stop me from leavign this frantic , lonely house the moment it's 6:30 pm. No one could! I wanted to leave and RIGHT THEN! 120 precious minutes of my life wasted just for petty bucks and "some discomforts". . . .Funny! And people tell me "they" are the most selfless beings on Earth??! They LIED!!