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The Awkward "are you happy?" Question

Two days ago, it was quite an usual morning when my favorite movie-mate and I were watching this really interesting movie called, Hec...

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Lost and Not Found



Hello, citizens from the world of "Freedom of Speech". I'm just a teeny weeny soul who lost her own voice among the phenomenal,overwhelming and deafening cacophony of countless 'extraordinarily humane' voices.  But I am glad to listen always...

If everybody exercises their right of being free to say whatever they want whenever wherever, then who would be left wherever to listen to whatever is being said whenever? Perplexing combination of words, huh? I know. But that's what silent listeners go through everyday. A maddening chaos inside their heads.

Listeners like me are like wallflowers. Invisible. Almost a kind of background noise that you can easily get rid of closing the door of your soundproof room. Stories are best enjoyed when read from a book compared to when it's told by
 a storyteller. Anybody is welcome to disagree. Nevertheless, I believe book pages know how to listen, so the stories written on them are safest there. Once upon a time I was a blank page. 




Time flies, and we all shift from being the little girl/boy who only wanted to hug her/his mom before bedtime to becoming a wandering soul lying on a cold, empty bed staring at a dark wall or ceiling. Our pages get scribbled on, engraved in bold letters, overwritten or even slashed with long red lines across them...

Not saying all of our pages run out of space. Some among us own vibrant chapters,colored in the brightest of hues. Pages after pages of glory,adventures,social acceptance,material wealth, perceived happiness, virtual fame in 'fairy tale' lives steal the limelight like rare trophies which radiate happiness as if it were a magic potion to immortality. Then again, how many 'picture-perfect events' in other people's lives have  succeeded in making us forget our own yellow-ish, dog-eared pages that we keep coming back to every night? While we're repeating our mistakes... or when we need to recall all those pricey lessons learnt from the past...



Are we always found in the triumphant cries of the undefeated champions who surround us? How far does the voices of those who seldom speak, travel? How many hearts claiming to speak on behalf of the humanity on Earth, can truly contemplate the intensity and depth of untold stories and meaningful,deep silence?

In those split seconds when you feel lost, have you ever sought peace in universal acknowledgement of the basic elements that keep you alive even though broken? Have you ever given into your inner desire to be separated from the 'greener grass on the other side'? Well those who mostly listen, they have. And I have..

Have you ever wondered how poorly the heroes of this world would 'weep' if none were to listen to their epic tales of bravery and victory, if none were to remember...? 
Ironically so, those who listens incessantly are often regraded as people who've no contribution to their community,but don't we notice 'quietly listening' is preaching tolerance itself like an umbrella everyone else had forgot to carry? True listeners are selfless, strong souls who can allow foreign ideas to invade their head space without being consumed by those themselves!




How many among us can listen but not interrupt? How many times have our ears recorded to precision without fabricating? Where is the point in filling up the cyberspace with countless words leaving voids in our minds?

Would you still truly listen when you could get lost by the force of it and not be found? When would we be strong enough to challenge our superego by listening to better, more powerful ideas and allowing their impacts to reshape our lives? 


"Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand."  ~Karl A. Menniger







Question Mark Lullaby



Why's that the nights only keep getting colder and quieter?


When does the end follow to these disappearing ties?


Why do we wake up into our old nightmares?


Why do we try even though hopes run dry?





©Senorita Enchantress 
26 Oct 2017

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

The Awkward "are you happy?" Question



Two days ago, it was quite an usual morning when my favorite movie-mate and I were watching this really interesting movie called, Hector and the Search for Happiness. Basically, we watched the first half of the movie the night before. It was time we finished it for good.

So, we set to watch the ecstatic psychiatrist on his unplanned,impulsive journeys around the World, stopping by his old friends here and there. Only to ask a question which everyone seemed wanting to avoid ,however, as if subtly obliged to answer when confronted with.

Are you happy?
                                      What makes you happy?
                                                                                          What is happiness to you?




No two person answered this question the same way. But everybody had an answer that echoed the kind of Life they were living or wanting to live. Happiness had many interpretations worldwide, and Hector,the protagonist, jotted all of them down in his medium-sized leather notebook. It was a mesmerizing movie with a number of mind-blowing quotes, which are compellingly true as well.





The end of the movie left me speechless,and my mood switches automatically switched onto 'CONTEMPLATIVE mode'. But on the other side, my thoughtful friend sneakily put his thinking cap ON. Haha. 😄 Though we connect a lot on thoughts otherwise.

Much to my surprise and dread actually, he put on Hector's shoes and started asking me the unusually difficult question. " What do you think happiness is?" Always wanting to avoid this question, and being asked only a few times by even fewer people, I was lost for a moment. In my clueless,thoughtless silence. His insistence grew until at one point I blurted out timidly: 'Happiness is happiness.'

Overwhelmed. My mind started wondering frantically. After experiencing more than 20 years of "I'M BREATHING" moments, I didn't know how to answer a simple question like that.

To hear this 'Are you happy?' question from someone feels like a deep breach of privacy. At times. It feels more intimate than being asked,'Are you in love?'

Admit it or not. We all hate it. Because we think too much.We go insane worrying if our voices would sound exactly the we 'want to sound'. Then, we put on a calculative smile and utter a dazzlingly superficial: " oh yes." Do we hold the courage to look in the eyes of the asking person,and answer a confident "Yes"? Even I couldn't look if I had to.






In the end though, I did answer him. Not my with my mouth. What my voice hesitated to channel, my heart took over and it flowed through my fingers. And whatever I told him were only little, insignificant, or maybe immature observations that I had...but my feelings were helplessly intertwined with those words... those words were 'me'. 




Here's how happiness looks like in the eyes of a simple Asian girl, in her early twenties, with absolutely limited experiences in Life :

Happiness is a journey! 

It's showing what you truly feel inside whenever you feel it. Without wasting time over what others may think...😊

Happiness is loving everyone without any self-interest from a place of respect. Happiness is being who you truly are..staying happy with whatever you have and trying to make others smile...😊

Happiness is protecting your innocence and remaining innocent no matter how the world may try to ruin you...😊

Happiness is simple...no second thoughts..😊

Happiness is not a greed to be happy..but when you're happy, happiness is to treat it like a gift...😊

Happiness is to have a pure heart and a beautiful mind...no matter how dirty the World maybe.😊

Happiness is seeing beauty in everything and everyone...

Happiness is accepting everyone is different but we all have the capacity to be good..to do a little better than we have done before...

Happiness is peace...😇

Happiness is forgiving...😅

Happiness is dedicating yourself for the work and the people you love..😁

Happiness is hope...💙💚💛💜💗💞






I've read a great book in my Fall'16 semester break, Way of the Peaceful Warrior, by Dan Millman , where it says:
The journey is what brings us happiness,not the destination.

And ever since, my expectations towards finding happiness has greatly changed. I realized how obliged we are all to be 'happy', and being happy requires no special reason. Every moment that we spend could turn into a 'happy one' if we only remind ourselves one thing (quoting from the book again):


The place is HERE.The time is NOW.



That's pretty much all for today 😁 I'm ecstatic to be writing my blog after 4 dreadfully long years of writer's blocks. Happiness is a simple formula which creates wonders when you truly believe in it. Trust me!




 Let's practice HAPPINESS and spread it around! In this dark times, we all need to share our lights, and what better way to do it than big,warm,happy smiles? 

















Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Tomorrow

Tomorrow


Dear him, who longs to see me smile,
Tell me not, may he
There is no tomorrow. . .
And truth may it not be
For I’d merely feel hollow

Dear one, who lightens my heart
From the distance, with a touch so subtle
I would only smile. . . .
For there is a tomorrow, yet

My impending hour is your tomorrow!



They say: live large, live wrong
‘Like there’s no tomorrow’
But, dear him, would he tell me to?
Live bit by bit, live it right
At today’s end tomorrow must follow
So save that breath, and sing your song

Dear him, evoker of nameless emotions
Ought he to glimpse what’s veiled within?
The last time he heard her cries
It was rain. . . . . . .
But if tomorrow unwinds in his eyes
May her melodic laughter transcend illusions?

Your playful wink is my tomorrow!




Why say, darling, no tomorrow?
When today scarcely suffices us. . . . .
Yet thousand miles of farness left to span
And hearts of coldness to condense…
Won’t you promise not to linger sorrow?

When your fingers shield my eyes,
As closer you come, and love is your voice
Sweet whispers echoing off the air
“Tomorrow’s no more a caprice”
Then I will sever all my ties
Come to you, descending the stairs of cloud
No tiara of monsoon on my hair
I’ll be your unadorned princess
Wearing just one smile. . .

Tomorrow may find her
Inseparably intertwined
In his tender arms
May tomorrow come on ever. . .


Senorita Enchantress
04/04/13

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

~The Last~




The Last



Last hours fly away, last words linger

Last time you looked into my eyes

My last thoughts were a blunder

All I wanted to hear was ‘See You Soon’

But you only said ‘Goodbye’



Your last footfalls still echo in my ears

Our last laughter, sweet ardent kisses

Last moment of a rapturous embrace

Etched in the canvas of my heart

They last as deathless memoirs. . . .





Yet last evenings together ended

In sudden, wild storms

Trampling my secret wish:

“If only we lasted. . . .”



Adoring fingers lastly stroking my face

When you breathed last in my hair

Our worlds diffusing into a fuzzy backdrop

Four artlessly entwined arms

Your swift, soft whispers in my eager ear




Last step on the spiraling stairway

Where you finally halted to glance back

At my forlorn beckoning to say

Your unsaid farewell . . .

And climbing backward to kiss me awake



Yet one breathless twilight witnessed

Us, hiding our gory daggers

And audaciously parting ways

Guilty of a love, tragically murdered




Last hours flew by, but last words

Like your last breath on my neck

Lingered not. . . .




(...Inspired by a true story ~<3>


Senorita Enchantress

02/24/2013

Monday, February 18, 2013

But what , then , is Life ?


But what ,then,  is 'Life' ?


The purpose of Life is a 'life of purpose'.



Life is a long wait; a lonely bed
Always waking on your own
Dwelling amid a maddening crowd
Yet feeling home alone . . . .


Life is writing a book . . .
Knowing your perfect beginning
But where to go from there ?
 Whose crux is its ending. . .


Life is signing treaties with what’s ‘lifeless’
Donning a veil of indifference. . . . .
When behind a facade of  ecstatic laughter
Lies that tear-stained visage
It is flawless pretense . . . . 


Life is a sudden , profound downpour
From a cloudless, sunny afternoon sky
Soaking yourself in the sweet rain
Only to remain achingly dry . . . . .


Life is going back to ‘normal’
Following old , smudgy footsteps
Never  treading on the unsullied mud
Warily advancing ,not being reckless


It’s an unending quest. . . . .
Of  fathoming the unfathomable
Yet pondering like a layman
But what, then , is ‘Life’ ?


Life is hunting down the Holy Grail
Of  subjective truth . . . . .
Armored protectively in a chain-mail
Sewn sardonically with lies.


Life is smelling dead roses
As they die their brief deaths,
Uncared, in crystalline vases
Yet to feel no regret . . . . .


Life is reading between the lines
Scrutinizing evey comma and full stop
Recognizing ‘deceit’ hidden in beautiful words
Before exclamation catches you off guard
Where innocence is followed by fines.


Life is a wild goose chase . . .
Going round and round a maze
Far out of reach from the center
Then halfway down meeting a stranger


Life is losing, and getting lost
Murdering your ardent desires. . .
Trampling long-cherished dreams
Only to be at an ‘alien somewhere’. . .


It’s a villainous mystery........
Whoever prides himself  to have resolved
At nightfall , in appalling secrecy,
 Asks himself: ‘But what,then, is Life ?’



@SenoritaEnchantress (17/02/2013)